in , , , , ,

The Ever-Growing List Of Quotes By Villains

Many villainous quotes by many, many lovely fictional villains.

An Assortment of Villainous Quotes From Quite A Lot Of Villains

When I started this project, I honestly figured that there’d be dozens of sites out there with hundreds of quotes by villains.  There are certainly plenty of quotes ABOUT villainy; but there’s quotes about damn near everything.  Villain quotes are deeply underrepresented.

I thought about breaking these down into categories, but then I figured, I’ll just ask people to suggest their favorite badass, interesting, inspirational, and/or funny things said by Villains, and type them in whenever I get a chance.

So this is The Eternally, Ever-Growing List Of Quotes By Villains.  Enjoy it!



“In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire…”

– Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

“I should do something very extroverted and vengeful to you. Honestly, I’m too tired.”

-Supreme Being, Time Bandits

“Give me what I want and I’ll go away”

Andre Linoge, Stephen King’s Storm of the Century

“Pooh-pooh to the Whos!…they’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming. They’re just waking up, and I know just what they’ll do. Their mouths will hang open a minute or 2, then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry, “Boo Hoo!””

-Grinch, How the Grinch Stole Christmas

“My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.”

Grendel by John Gardner

“What I see I inspire with usefulness, I think, trying to suck in breath, and all that I do not see is useless, void. I observe myself observing what I observe.”

Grendel by John Gardner

“You are so beyond fucked, you couldn’t catch a bus back to fucked.”

-Reggie, Suckers

“Hey! How — ah, these pretzels suck… So, how’s your day been, buddy? We haven’t really talked much since I left you for dead.”

– Handsome Jack, Borderlands

“You’re on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks… now fuck off!”

-Brick Top, Snatch

“Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible cunt… me.”

-Brick Top, Snatch

“Because it’s all so fucking hysterical.”

-Connor Rooney, Road to Perdition

“Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?”

-Mr. Blonde, Reservoir Dogs

“I don’t like to feel good. I like to feel evil.”

-Skeletor, He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special

“…if only you could see what I’ve seen with your eyes!”

-Batty, Blade Runner

“If you have a gun, you can rob a bank. But if you have a bank you can rob anyone”

-Black Mask, Batman: Arkham Origins

“I? I am a monument to all your sins.”

-Gravemind, Halo 2

“There are no men like me. There’s only me”

― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

“[grabs a machine gun that’s on the ground but Bond puts his foot on it first] Why can’t you just be a good boy and die?”

-Alec Trevelyan, GoldenEye

” You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads!”

-Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

“I have to return some videotapes.”

-Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

“And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable… I simply am not there.”

-Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

“Don’t just stare at it, eat it.”

-Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

“So, I assume you’ve come here to make arrangements. But unfortunately, I don’t fuck losers.”

-Kathryn Merteuil, Cruel Intentions

“Well give the man a hand!”

-Clarance J. Boddicker, RoboCo

“ooh, guns guns guns!”

-Clarance J. Boddicker, RoboCop

“So, what I told you was true… from a certain point of view.”

-Ben ‘Obi-Wan’ Kenobi, Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi

Guy of Gisborne : Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?

Sheriff of Nottingham : Because it’s DULL, you twit. It’ll hurt more.

-Sheriff of Nottingham, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

“History is made at night. Character is what you are in the dark.”

-Lord Jon Whorfin, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension 

“Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life.”

-Lord Jon Whorfin, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension 

“Vendetta, he says, using the ancient tongue. The art of kanly is still alive in the Universe. He does not wish to meet or speak with you.”

-Piter De Vries, Dune

“I rather doubt it. Can we, in fact, pretend that she is anything other than a woman scorned, like which fury Hell hath no? We cannot.”

-Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Yes, but … The Order of Taraka. I mean, isn’t that overkill?

No, I think it’s just enough kill.

-Dalton and Spike exchange, Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Season 2

“If he dies. He dies”

-Ivan Drago, Rocky IV

“Listen kid, I’m not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don’t give a good fuck what you know, or don’t know, but I’m gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It’s amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I’ve heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain’t gonna get.”

-Mr. Blonde, Resevoir Dogs

“Now you know what we are, now you know what you are. You’ll never grow old, Michael, and you’ll never die. But you must feed!”

-David, The Lost Boys

“Now where were we? Ah, yes abject humiliation!”

-Jafar, Aladdin

“No Mr Bond, I Expect You To Die!”

-Goldfinger, Goldfinger

“You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.”

-Boris Johnson, The Italian Job

“But I am above all, a reasonable man. Thus I have granted your leaders one week to surrender to the rule of Doom…or suffer total annihilation”

-Dr. Doom, Vultures; Noveliss

“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

-Darth Vader, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope

“It’s not easy having a good time! Even smiling makes my face ache!”

-Dr. Frank N. Furter, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

“Compromise, my friend, is the essence of diplomacy, and diplomacy is the cornerstone of love. [Singin] Sweeeeeet looooove.”

-Dr. Killinger, The Venture Bros.- season 2

“Hello, Beastie.”

-Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Carribean; Dead Man’s Chest

Lord Kril: Damage report!
Ko-dan Officer: Guidance system out. Auxiliary steering out.
Lord Kril: Divert! Divert!
Ko-dan Officer: She won’t answer the helm! We’re locked into the moon’s gravitation pull. What do we do?
Lord Kril: [his eyepiece swings over left eye] We die. [The ship crashes into the moon and explodes]

– Lord Kril & Ko-Dan Officer exchange, The Last Starfighter

“Won’t you shake a poor sinner’s hand?

– Dr. Facilier/Shadow Man, The Princess and the Frog

“I’ll get you, my pretty — and your little dog too!”

-The Wicked Witch of the West, The Wizard of Oz

“I may be crazy enough to take on Batman, but the IRS? No thank you!”

-The Joker, The New Batman Adventures

“Because the status is not Quo”

-Dr. Horrible, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along blog

“I’m undead – I’m not unreasonable”

-Dracula, The Rules of the Beast

Brytag [Upon being challenged by Sonja to a death-duel, in lieu of paying “tender tribute”]  Woman, I have fought 177 men. Only one survives, and he has no legs. *You DARE to mock Brytag?*

-Brytag, Red Sonja

“How shall I punish you? Oh, I know– I’ll send you to bed early.

[Dahlia waves her hand toward Freya, who immediately is knocked unconscious and falls backward]

-Dahlia, The Vampire Diaries

“Not the archers. My scouts tell me their archers are miles away and no threat to us. Arrows cost money. Use up the Irish. The dead cost nothing.”

-King Edward I, Braveheart

“I can’t stand a man who laughs at his own jokes.”

-Gamilon Leader Desslock, Star Blazers

Cylon Leader: “All [fighters] destroyed? How? We took them by surprise!”
Random Cylon: “Apparently, it was not as big a surprise as we had hoped for.”

-Cylon Exchange, Battlestar Galactica

“As you know, madness is like gravity…all it takes is a little push.”

-Joker, The Dark Knight

“Do I look like someone with a plan?”

-Joker, The Dark Knight

[fuming]  Batman… Batman… Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a *bat* gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!”

-Joker, Batman

” If it’s all the same to you, I’ll have that drink now.”

-Loki, The Avengers

“I mean all the normal people dream of going crazy every now and then…problem is, when they do, there is not going back”

-Joker, Harleen Comic

“I must say, I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation.”

-Maleficent, Maleficent

“You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

– Jack/Joker, Batman

James Bond Do you expect me to talk?

Auric Goldfinger No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!

– Gert Fröbe, Goldfinger

“Mephistopheles: Why, this is hell, nor am I out of it.
Think’st thou that I, who saw the face of God
And tasted the eternal joys of heaven,
Am not tormented with ten thousand hells
In being deprived of everlasting bliss?”

― Christopher Marlowe, Dr. Faustus

“Do not try to escape. You are in my control. Look at me: I am the sum of all evils. Look carefully. My power infests all times, all galaxies, all dimensions. But many still seek me out; a green jewel they must possess. But see how I destroy their lives.”

-Loknar, Heavy Metal

“Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.”

― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

“You cannot hide from danger. Death floats on the air, creeps through the window, comes with the handshake of a stranger. If we stop living because we fear death, then we have already died.”

-Raistlin Majere, The Soulforge, Margaret Weis

“Bah! In my day, we had fantastical feasts when I lived in the palace. And now, look at me – wasted away to practically nothing”

-Ursula, The Little Mermaid

“The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.”

-Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, “Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

“Never go in against a Sicilian when Death is on the line!”

—Vizzini, “The Princess Bride”, William Golding

“Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible cunt… me.”

―Bricktop from “Snatch”, directed by Guy Richie

“I have millions of eyes, yet I live in darkness. I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. I have no muscles, yet I rule two hemispheres.”

―Edward Nigma, The Riddler, “”Batman: The Animated Series” – 1992, episode: If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Rich?

“We live in a primitive time—don’t we, Will?—neither savage nor wise. Half measures are the curse of it. Any rational society would either kill me or give me my books.”

― Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Red Dragon, Thomas Harris

“You see, a scheme is like a fire. Everything must be in order for it to work. You need matches, torches, an angry mob that won’t listen to reason, and the right sort of kindling. Orphans, for instance, tied to the wooden stake.”

“We are a nebulous and monolithic organization that exists solely to commit evil acts and sometimes to act as a straw man.”

Terrible Writing Advice

“Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment; but you humans do not. Instead you multiply, and multiply, until every resource is consumed. The only way for you to survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern… a virus.”

—Agent Smith, The Matrix, The Watchowski Siblings

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”

The Usual Suspects, Christopher McQuarrie (and apparently, according to Quote Investigator, probably quoting Charles Baudelaire

“We have eternity to know your flesh”.

―Pinhead, “Hellraiser”, by Clive Barker

“On a related subject, Signore Pazzi, I must confess to you: I’m giving serious thought to eating your wife.”

― Thomas Harris, Hannibal

“I will continue to study at your feet, Master. I will learn from your wisdom. I will discover your secrets, unlocking them one by one until everything you know—all your knowledge and all your power—is mine. And once you are no longer of use to me, I will destroy you.”

― Drew Karpyshyn, Star Wars, The Darth Bane Series: Path of Destruction, Rule of Two, Dynasty of Evil

“On our wedding night,” she said, “I will cut out your tongue and swallow it. Then both tongues that spoke our marriage vows will belong to me, and I will be wed only to myself. You will most likely choke to death on your own blood, which will be unfortunate, but I will be both husband and wife and therefore not a widow to be pitied.”

― Lada the ImpalerAnd I Darken, Kiersten White

“There was a wicked ole witch once called Black Aliss. She was an unholy terror. There’s never been one worse or more powerful. Until now. Because I could spit in her eye and steal her teeth, see. Because she didn’t know Right from Wrong, so she got all twisted up, and that was the end of her.

“The trouble is, you see, that if you do know Right from Wrong, you can’t choose Wrong. You just can’t do it and live. So.. if I was a bad witch I could make Mister Salzella’s muscles turn against his bones and break them where he stood… if I was bad. I could do things inside his head, change the shape he thinks he is, and he’d be down on what had been his knees and begging to be turned into a frog… if I was bad. I could leave him with a mind like a scrambled egg, listening to colors and hearing smells…if I was bad. Oh yes.” There was another sigh, deeper and more heartfelt.
“But I can’t do none of that stuff. That wouldn’t be Right.”

She gave a deprecating little chuckle. And if Nanny Ogg had been listening, she would have resolved as follows: that no maddened cackle from Black Aliss of infamous memory, no evil little giggle from some crazed Vampyre whose morals were worse than his spelling, no side-splitting guffaw from the most inventive torturer, was quite so unnerving as a happy little chuckle from a Granny Weatherwax about to do what’s best.”

― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Dark Lords shatter destiny; it’s what we do.”

― Jeff Mach, There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN: A Dark Lord’s Diary


The Emperor Palpatine, to his mirror, every morning.

“As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. And really, that’s all this is, except that instead of sucking water, I’m sucking life. I’ve just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don’t know what that would do to you, so let’s just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so… be honest. How do you feel?”

― Count Rugen, “The Princess Bride”, William Goldman

“Revenge is like sex, Mister Dresden. It’s best when it comes on slow, quiet, until it all seems inexorable.”

― “The Nightmare”, Grave Peril, Jim Butcher

“If I have to have a past, then I prefer it to be multiple choice.”

― Alan Moore, Batman: The Killing Joke, The Joker

“Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.”

― Spaceballs, Mel Brooks

“I’m surrounded by idiots.”

― Scar, The Lion King, by Irene Mecchi

“I see you shiver with… antici………..pation.”

― Dr. Frank-N-Furter, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Richard O’Brien

“That’s it then. Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas.”

― The Sheriff of Nottingham, “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”,  Pen Densham and John Watson

“Ye best start believin’ in ghost stories, Miss Turner. Yer in one.”

―Captain Barbossa, “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl“, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio

“You see, the only thing the good people are good at is overthrowing the bad people. And you’re good at that, I’ll grant you. But the trouble is it’s the only thing you’re good at. One day it’s the ringing of the bells and the casting down of the evil tyrant, and the next it’s everyone sitting around complaining that ever since the tyrant was overthrown no one’s been taking out the trash. Because the bad people know how to plan. It’s part of the specification, you might say. Every evil tyrant has a plan to rule the world. The good people don’t seem to have the knack.”

―Lord Vetinari, Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett

“Oft have I digg’d up dead men from their graves,
And set them upright at their dear friends’ doors,
Even when their sorrows almost were forgot;
And on their skins, as on the bark of trees,
Have with my knife carved in Roman letters,
‘Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.’
Tut, I have done a thousand dreadful things
As willingly as one would kill a fly,
And nothing grieves me heartily indeed
But that I cannot do ten thousand more.”

― William Shakespeare, Titus Andronicus

What do you think?

Let's make the things of Darkness, the Umbra, our own.

Villains, Awaken! Let’s take over Fairyland, and then, the Wasteland!

What Is Villainpunk?